Today's PSA For the Historically Illiterate

To All You Nincompoops Who Have Been Posting This on Pinterest, Reddit, and Tumblr as a Genuine Photo of Edgar Allan Poe and Abraham Lincoln:

This photo is a fake.  F.A.K.E.  It was never even intended to be seen as legitimate.  It originates from the book "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter," which, (though a chilling number of people seem unaware of this,) was meant to be satire.  Poe and Lincoln never even met.  Please stop making fools of yourselves and stripping me of whatever minuscule shred of hope for the human race I have left.  After all, I can only drink so much therapeutic gin.

That is all.

Why Does the World Hate Me?

I just came across this upcoming novel.  From the descriptions, it sounds like a complete stinker, even by the usually abysmal standards of Poe fiction.

I don't think I can even bring myself to read this thing when it comes out.  I just can't bear to plow through another idiot book that utterly trashes the poor man, especially with the knowledge that readers who don't know any better will assume it's based on some kind of fact.  I do not have the stomach for it anymore.  And this myth about the Poe/Frances Osgood "love affair" is like something out of a horror movie:  No matter how many times you think you've killed the beast, it keeps coming back to life.

Lynn Cullen, you've put me in a very bad mood today.

Civilization Was Actually Kind of Nice, While It Lasted

Just spotted on Amazon:

If anyone needs me for anything, I'll just be off in this corner, drinking myself into unconsciousness.